Fun With Play-Dough

While John McCain is trying his hardest to find a balance between hitting the campaign trail, and avoiding Bush like he’s the plague, syphilis, and West Nile all rolled into one, his wife Cindy took another stab at Michelle Obama. Should we prepare for a catfight? Hardly; Cindy simply doesn’t have what it takes. Appearing on Good Morning America, she –again- pulled out the patriotism issue.
“I don’t know why she said what she said,” Cindy uttered, “I have always been proud of my country.”
Maybe someone should explain to her that, first of all, she needs an originality boost and come up with some new ammo; second, there have been plenty of times in the history of the US (including today) when pride’ was/is not appropriate. Acknowledging that doesn’t make anyone less patriotic; in fact, being able to admit your country isn’t always perfect is a sign you care enough to make it better. If Cindy is so proud, she must think there’s no need for any kind of change. That is an easy position if you have millions in the bank, but for those of us that cry a little on the inside each time we see the prices soar, things could definitely improve.
I am not proud of the economy. I am not proud of the fact that millions of children are uninsured. I am not proud of the 40 % of people in this country that are functionally illiterate. I am not proud of the Katrina victims that have been left to fend for themselves. I am not proud of the 1-in-5 Iraq veterans that suffer from brain injuries, PTSD, and depression. I am not proud of water boarding, the lackluster response of this administration to global warming, and the billions that we continue to spend on weapons. But then, I am of course a stinking Liberal who can’t find anything good about the current administration. Or about the man who tries to simultaneously distance himself from, and follow in the footsteps of, the lovely Mr. Bush.

Forget the separation of Church and State: the hunt is on for conservative Christian voters. Whether they, indeed, are struggling to make up their mind remains to be seen; the Obama camp, in the meantime, isn’t taking any chances. Barack is courting the church crowds, while McCain sits idly by. Perhaps the Republicans expected Obama to stay away from religion, since the whole Jeremiah Wright deal didn’t go over so well? But then, McCain hasn’t booked a lot of successes either; his little flirtation with Pastor Hagee ended in a bitter break-up.

Time to ask the question: how does one go about getting the conservative Christian vote?

First there is the abortion issue: Obama is in favor of abortion rights (as is, by the way, the constitution) and McCain, although officially against (he’s proposed criminal penalties for doctors who perform abortions), gives the impression he doesn’t really give a crap. No points for either.

Does it help if one attends church? For Obama that question has been answered: it depends on the church. McCain, once again, has been tight-lipped on that account. He was born and raised an Episcopalian, but now attends a Baptist church, and identifies himself as Baptist. He considers America a Christian Nation, and thinks that the most important thing for voters is to ask “whether their candidate will carry on in the Judeo-Christian principled tradition”.

I despise that term, Judeo-Christian. It suggests a brotherly bond, a certain sameness between Judaism and Christianity that doesn’t exist. Sure, we have things in common, but so do many faiths; and we disagree on the issue most central to the Christian Church, its backbone if you will, namely, the deity of Jesus Christ.

Use of the term Judeo-Christian also suggests that the Christian Church is willing to allow us Jews into its small circle of friends, at the exclusion of anybody else. No one has ever heard of a Buddha-Christian Coalition, or Muslim-Christian heritage. Leaving all other religions in the cold –not to speak of atheists- is unacceptable to anyone who has any respect for those differences that make us great. Plus, we can’t simply assume there is any kind of homogeny among either Christians or Jews. What McCain is really doing without saying it out loud, is reminding us that Obama’s middle name is neither Jewish nor Christian, but Arabic. I hesitate to guess how many Americans there still are with questions about that middle name.

The rights of gay Americans unfortunately also fall under the religion umbrella. Obama is for, McCain is against; he not only opposes gay marriage, he is also against gays serving openly in the military. I have never understood what the problem is; does he think that all gays fit the stereotypical Musicals and Fashion mold? By that rationale, he would think Lesbians are either truck drivers or high school football coaches; if that were the case, he should actively pursue these lesbian Wonder Women for his military purposes! Of course, I am being silly; the bottom line is that McCain’s verbal support of the party line has hardly convinced the conservative voters they should back him.

Highly publicized spats surrounding Wright (Obama) and Hagee, Dobson, and Parsley (McCain) make it even more likely that conservative voters stay home in the fall. And frankly, with snubs left and right, and more than one minister spewing hate-filled sermons, one must ask: Does either McCain or Obama really want these voters? How far does a candidate need to go to convince these voters to come out and place that oh-so important checkmark on the ballot?

And what about the conservative voters that aren’t just one issue voters; what will they do?

With residents of Montana and South Dakota getting out of bed tomorrow to cast their votes, the country (not to mention the journalists) are sighing with relief. It is finally, almost, kind-of-sort-of, over, they think. But what if it’s not?

What if people in South Dakota are tired of being ignored” What if the folks in Montana are pissed off because everybody always confuses their state with Wyoming? (No, they are not the same).

Everybody wants their day in the limelight; people that live in sparsely populated states are no different. Tomorrow is their chance: what if none of them show up to vote, out of spite? What if they collectively make a stand, thereby forcing the nation to wait until the year 2098 to find out who wins this godforsaken primary? What if they all secretly registered independent, and plan to vote en masse for Nader?

I don’t want to scare anybody, but it’s a real risk we’re facing here. Speaking of Nader, where has he been over the past few months? Announcing his candidacy didn’t raise as much of a stink as he’d hoped, I’m sure. And speaking of people that want their fifteen minutes of fame: Nader might still be looking for his. He’s like the mouse that will do whatever it takes to convince people he’s actually an elephant. Meantime, Hillary just won’t give up, Obama won’t come out and declare victory, and Bill won’t stop whining. Is it November yet?

What are Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb so happy about? According to all the latest polls, George has an approval rating somewhere south of 30%, and even though he is a yummy fundraiser for McCain, the two can’t be seen together in public too much. That’s a problem, especially since McCain is in dire need of that money. Oh well, just keep it up with all those fundraisers-behind-closed-doors. More backdoor politics, more secrecy, and more Twilight Zone moments like these; in case we forget what we’re in for if McCain wins the general election. Something wicked is coming our way…

I don’t often feel the need to say: “I told you so”, but the recent developments surrounding Hagee and his no longer welcome endorsement of McCain are anything but a surprise.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy his true colors are finally becoming visible to the public, but I have to ask: why has it taken this long? It took me about fifteen minutes of on-line digging to find proof that he is an Anti-Semite.
I’m equally happy it is still unacceptable to say nice things about Hitler; still, I have to wonder, why is it apparently okay to say nasty things about Catholics, or gays? Isn’t it, ultimately, just a different side of the same hateful coin?

It makes it clear the McCain campaign is picking and choosing whose support they’ll accept based on what’s popular, or politically correct. Hating Gays is okay with most people; we’ve seen that again and again. But by ignoring Hagee’s overt disdain for anybody different from him, and ignoring the fact that somebody that hateful is probably lying when he claims to be pro-Jewish, you set yourself up for fall-out later. I know, it’s politics as usual, so here goes:

“I told you so”.
Now let’s hope Israel gets on board and stops Hagee’s tainted money flow; we don’t need money from someone who believes Hitler did us a favor.