Fun With Play-Dough

Did we almost forget there were Republican primaries as well yesterday? Seems like a massive waste of time and money, but okay; do what you must. Here are the results: McCain won. But wait, not everybody voted for him; in fact, the results are quite fascinating. McCain came away with 74% in North Carolina, and got 77% of the votes in Indiana. Respectable numbers, if he were actually running against someone. Huckabee got 12% in both states, while Romney got 5% in N.C. and 7% in Indiana. Even Ron Paul got a few X’s behind his name; it’s obvious that not all party members are happy with McCain’s slam-dunk. This could potentially become a problem for him in the fall; not so much because these people might vote for a Democrat, but they might decide to stay home. Or not; we can hope, can’t we?

Here is a story I don’t quite understand: two women in New Zealand were hospitalized after accidentally sipping dishwasher liquid. The liquid had been mistaken for mulled wine; the customer sipped and burned herself, after which an employee offered to test it; and here’s what I don’t get: wouldn’t you smell the difference before you sip? And if you don’t, why would the employee offer to taste it after the customer already burned her throat?

Another cute tidbit: 12-year-old David Withoft from Ridgefield, Con., has been wearing the same Packers’ jersey for four years; he recently stopped. Yes, his mother washed it regularly, but still. This is news? I guess David’s parents, by allowing this story to be in the news, have finally found the solution to an age-old problem: How do we stop our teenage son from dating?

The Republicans seem to think the general election is in the bag; and their propaganda machine is in full swing.

Case in point: Republican mouthpiece Leslie Sanchez, writing this morning on the CNN website, under the title “A House Divided”, once again hammering the point home that we’re taking too long, and we can’t close the deal. She claims Obama can’t connect with females or seniors, Clinton has alienated black voters. The race for the nomination is getting ugly, and Sanchez is one of many Republicans licking their chops.

How is it possible that we let it get this far? On the heels of 8 Bush years, we should be able to take the White House blindfolded, with our fingers up our nose. Yet, we get bogged down in primary malaise, can’t pick a candidate, while the Republicans are positively creaming in their pants at the sight of such political quicksand.

But the Republicans are congratulating themselves a little too soon. They forget one thing: eventually, we will have one candidate, and when that moment arrives, the gloves are coming off.

That’s okay. Let the Republicans think we are self-destructing; let them think that we’re the hare and they are the turtle. They’ll find out in due time it’s the other way around.

After last night, Howard Dean’s blood pressure must have risen some more. What did the Pennsylvania Primary change? Well, nothing. Not that anybody expected that, but still; this is getting tiresome. Not only do we not have a nominee now, we most likely won’t have one after May 6 either, and with this mess going all the way to the Convention, McCain can watch the Democrats potentially self destroy.

The Washington Post claims that fewer Democratic voters are willing to vote for the ‘other candidate’ in the general election; instead, they will vote Republican or not vote at all.

I find that really hard to believe. When your candidate doesn’t win, you pick the next best thing. For Democrats, the next best thing is not McCain, as much as the Republican propaganda machine would like us to believe that. It’s fear mongering, nothing more, nothing less. They know we continue to be depressed about the last two elections, and hope we’ll go into a tailspin.

Remember when you were little, and you really wanted a particular piece of candy? But your mom said no, and you got so pissed, you said: ”Fine! Then I want nothing at all!”

Do you also remember the immense regret that set in immediately after you made that statement?

Electing McCain into the White House would be a mistake; electing him with the help of pissed off Democrats would be much, much worse.

We have: sex industry (yes, we’re not done), mortgage crisis, and primary woes. 

Yum; more sex talk on Larry King tonight. Good old Larry, I knew he would milk this like an overripe cow.  Not even there, and he still manages to pull the sex strings. I imagine him saying; hey, I can’t make it tonight, but can somebody make sure the topic is sex, sex, and more sex? Oh, I know! We’ll get Dr. Drew! Isn’t he sort of bored anyway, now that Celebrity Rehab is over and done with?

Hurrah for Sex.

My husband had a great idea. How about the government, instead of dumping their money on Wall Street, or giving us a tax cut that, let’s face it, really isn’t going to help anybody, buys up all the houses that are for sale right now? From what we’re hearing, people are having a bit of difficulty selling their houses. They can put returning service men in these houses, and the people that they buy from can move on and buy a new house; there would be a ripple effect, and voilà, housing market improves. There. 

One Florida voter said he had no appetite for another primary, and he added: This is a great lesson for the National Democratic Party.

What lesson would that be? Don’t tell Florida what to do because they can’t effing follow instructions? 

I have the prefect solution. We take every single politician in Florida, put him or her in jail for a week or two, preferably solitary lock-up, then we ask them: Are you ready to play ball? If they hem and haw, we throw them in the sea and tell them not to come back.

Then we’ll give all of Florida to Louisiana; they could use the tourism and besides, as shady as Louisiana’s reputation is when it comes to politics, at least they didn’t screw up the primary. 

Now, how is this Howard Dean’s fault?

They were told not to do it, they did it anyway, and now they’re crying foul.

What were they thinking? We’ll just do it anyway, and national headquarters will budge? Whichever candidate won our primaries will champion our cause? Guess again.

As always, it’s the voters that pay the price; every vote in America should count. They will need to vote again, especially since Obama wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan.

If Crist and Granholm could just swallow hard and apologize, they might have a chance to solve this. I’m afraid, in cases like this, egos always get in the way of common sense. I can’t help but ask myself, if Charlie Crist got caught speeding, would he expect the police officer that pulled him over to pay the ticket?

So what about that little IED in New York? Isn’t it a bit of a sad bomb? I mean; it didn’t even disrupt traffic for long. If that were the perpetrator’s goal, it would have been easier to throw a rock at a couple of streetlights, or start a fight with a taxi driver. No one got hurt, so it will be out of the news within hours, so what was the purpose? Attention? Is there a man somewhere, sitting at home right now, congratulating himself on…on what, exactly?  Apparently, there were similar signatures at two other events, the May 2005 explosion outside the British Consulate, and the October 2007 one outside the Mexican Consulate.  Is it the same guy? It’s like connecting the dots, without having all the dots.

It sounds like an episode of Numbers, doesn’t it? I think attackers like this (I refuse to believe that whoever did this rode away on a bike), when they finally get caught, should be publicly spanked. These kinds of people aren’t scary; they’re just annoying.

The other issue of the day: Will Huckabee get his own Television show? Does anybody care? We all know he’s just waiting for that phone call…