Fun With Play-Dough

Larry King tonight is interviewing a bunch of liars; these women are as trustworthy as Cheney during a hunting trip. They sound like robots and look away every time they answer a question. They show all the telltale psychological signs of deceit, and they sound like robots.  “Our children need us”, they claim. Do they think the rest of America is stupid? Don’t they realize we can see right through their rehearsed stories and make-believe tales of being the victims? These women are victims of do-it-yourself brainwashing only. And why aren’t we hearing from the men? Another question I have is: why is there a picture of Warren Jeffs in every room?

The Television keeps showing the tanks and agents in body armor; are we supposed to think there was an excessive use of force? Does anybody remember Waco? I’m sure the state of Texas did.

Funny how Winston Blackmore suddenly portrays himself as the “Good” Polygamist, in spite of the fact that he has at one point married a 15 year old. I think the one thing that we have failed to hear about so far is how incredibly young that is.

Thank God, Wal-Mart saw the light (and the loss of revenue, no doubt) and changed their mind about screwing with their former employee. Actually, I don’t really care why they did it; I’m just glad for once the big bad wolf didn’t blow down the house.

So what about seeing Jesse Ventura on Larry King tonight? Why did I even watch? And how disturbing is it that I agreed with practically everything that came out of his mouth? Here I was, all ready to make fun of him (easy, with that hairdo) and instead, I found myself nodding along with the things he said. Weird. Should I be embarrassed?

Meanwhile, I have so had it with Amy Holmes; can’t she just go away? I think she’s the only commentator/village idiot who still continues to bring up the Jeremiah Wright controversy (her words, not mine) any chance she gets. Enough already!!! Don’t you get it? We are tired of hearing about it! God, anything is more interesting than that stupid topic, even a discussion of Obama’s bowling skills. Really.

That’s my whole rant for tonight; things are getting a little repetitive. It’s time for Cheney to go hunting, or for Bush to stick his foot in his mouth. I am going to turn off CNN for the night and do some research into Hamas’ latest puppet theater.  Death to Mickey!

We have: sex industry (yes, we’re not done), mortgage crisis, and primary woes. 

Yum; more sex talk on Larry King tonight. Good old Larry, I knew he would milk this like an overripe cow.  Not even there, and he still manages to pull the sex strings. I imagine him saying; hey, I can’t make it tonight, but can somebody make sure the topic is sex, sex, and more sex? Oh, I know! We’ll get Dr. Drew! Isn’t he sort of bored anyway, now that Celebrity Rehab is over and done with?

Hurrah for Sex.

My husband had a great idea. How about the government, instead of dumping their money on Wall Street, or giving us a tax cut that, let’s face it, really isn’t going to help anybody, buys up all the houses that are for sale right now? From what we’re hearing, people are having a bit of difficulty selling their houses. They can put returning service men in these houses, and the people that they buy from can move on and buy a new house; there would be a ripple effect, and voilà, housing market improves. There. 

One Florida voter said he had no appetite for another primary, and he added: This is a great lesson for the National Democratic Party.

What lesson would that be? Don’t tell Florida what to do because they can’t effing follow instructions? 

I have the prefect solution. We take every single politician in Florida, put him or her in jail for a week or two, preferably solitary lock-up, then we ask them: Are you ready to play ball? If they hem and haw, we throw them in the sea and tell them not to come back.

Then we’ll give all of Florida to Louisiana; they could use the tourism and besides, as shady as Louisiana’s reputation is when it comes to politics, at least they didn’t screw up the primary. 

Madams and Hookers and Pimps, oh my.

It seems Mr. Spitzer has handed the media a fantastic excuse for bringing the business of sex front and center. Finally, the American public has an almost Hollywood like backdrop for smut-talk. It is just like the movies, isn’t it? Pretty girls, down on their luck, the Johns that sleep with them, huge amounts of money changing hands; oh, the scandal, the horror! Except this time it’s not HBO, it’s real life, or a facsimile thereof.

Bring on Dr. Laura, our favorite homo-hating drama queen, spilling her condescending guts all over the television screen; Pah-Leeze. Of course she has all the answers; hearing her talk, for the first time in days I find some sympathy for Spitzer. However bad the choices he’s made, he doesn’t deserve this.  Could someone please dig in her past for a bit and find something that will shut her up for good?

What expert guests will be on tomorrow night to put in their two cents’ worth? I vote for Tony Soprano, and bring on Hugh Grant and a couple of strung-out crack addicts while you’re at it.  I bet they will be more informative and easier to watch than Dr. Laura.

Maybe the anchors can dress for the occasion; after all, it’s almost Purim. That means it’s high time for an entertaining Farce.

Look it up.