Fun With Play-Dough

Do you have an extra $89,000 lying around? No, me neither. But for those that do: the city of Seattle has given up on its ambitious self-cleaning toilet program, and is putting them up for sale on EBay. Apparently, the facilities have attracted (surprise, surprise) prostitutes and junkies, and aren’t as cost effective as regular stalls. The experiment has cost the city about $5 million, but so far, no bids have been made on the stalls. The futuristic looking, German made installations offer hands-free washing and drying, as well as an emergency 911 button.  I for one would love to have one; I’d put mine in the backyard for the kids. 

I don’t know if this story is bogus or not; but the picture is just too good so I’m sharing anyway. According to what I read, this cow is part of an experiment where tubes are inserted (I know, ouch) and gas is caught in the cute pink backpack. Scientists then will be able to study the effect cow gas has on the environment.

Admit it, the cow looks cool. If this is a true story, they should experiment on my cat Lola next, cause, damn.

Watch Out, I’m Armed.

Those little rascal scooters for the elderly are multi functional.  The ads don’t show us everything though; besides taking them to the very edge of the Grand Canyon, allowing easy access in and out of your car, and letting you navigate that pesky coffee table, they are also remarkably versatile when you get into a fight. Two elderly ladies in Crawly, Great Britain, took their motorized scooters to a department store. The two had been friends for years, but apparently their friendship hit a snag when they started arguing about, what else, money. They started hitting each other, using their scooters as real-life bumper cars, and had to be pulled apart by personnel. Both were arrested, one had to be taken to the hospital.

When I’m old, I’m going to get one of those, and then I’d like to have it tricked out like Messala’s chariot in Ben Hur.

Isn’t it great when our home state makes the national news? Here’s the story:

Police Officer Keith Andrew and his family decided to eat at KFC/Taco Bell in Sidney Nebraska. It was October 2005, and this particular franchise had apparently just hired the stupidest employee ever. Casey Diedrich thought it was funny to urinate in the family’s food, which was just one example of the restaurant workers keeping “special servings” for visiting cops. However, the family’s youngest child, 4, became violently ill with gastroenteritis and dehydration, and ended up in the hospital. Needless to say, they sued; they just won $40,000; restaurant employees testified they watched Diedrich commit his nasty little act, and told management, but nobody informed the family.

Diedrich has been fined the enormous sum of $100 (?) and been fired, although that wasn’t because of messing with the food, it was because he missed work.

Nice little operation they’re running there.

Now, I don’t know, maybe that particular police officer was an asshole, and things just got too tempting for Diedrich. But feeding your own urine to a child to the point of sending him to the hospital? Come on, Diedrich; I’ve been to Sidney, and although it’s a small town on the verge of scary, I didn’t notice anybody walking on all fours. Get a grip. Next time you’re bored, go tip over a cow or something.

(Source: Yahoo)

If, a thousand years from now, the historians discover an unusually high suicide rate among 21^st century Americans, it is probably because of these types of headlines:

• Should Brad and Angelina sell pictures of their babies for $20 million?
• Doctor: Jolie ‘laughed’ during labor
• Jon Voight as “Excited as Everybody Else” about Jolie-Pitt twins
• Angelina’s Doctor calls Brad “My Assistant”; Mayor “Thrilled” by Twins’ Nice connection
• Is Knox Gold? Vivienne the next Isabella?
• Angie Delivers! Two More Jolie-Pitts are born!
• Why Brangelina named Twins Knox and Vivienne

Okay; enough! They had babies! WE KNOW!!!!!

And, before you think I’m singling out the Golden Couple for today’s rant, here’s another depressing snippet:

It’s Britney, bitch—and only E! News has the exclusive pictures of the pop star while filming a top-secret music video for pal Madonna’s upcoming Sticky & Sweet tour.

The never-before-seen photos were taken at the Lot in West Hollywood, as seven cameras rolled simultaneously to capture the magic for a “short movie” that a source tells us will “be very deep.” (Source: E!Online)

 Shut Up! I’m, like, totally deep.