Fun With Play-Dough

While speaking out about Reverend Wright today, Obama looked beaten down. I feel a little beaten down myself, just watching this unfold. Obama is finding out first hand that running for office is no picnic, and that he’s hit quicksand. Once you are in quicksand, you rarely get out; the harder you try to escape, the deeper you sink. The reason he is where he is: he tried to solve this with a soft approach. He tried to be nice, and in the electoral process, there is no room for nice. There is only room for hiding in the bushes and waiting to pounce.

Is this going to cost him the nomination? Possibly.

Time for Obama to fight back. How is up to him, but here are some suggestions.

• Keep smiling. I know, this sounds inane, but when you get that worried look on your face, people subconsciously interpret it as doubt and crankiness. Facials are important; smiling gets a certain sense of confidence across. If you have your own teeth, smile big; if not, keep your mouth kind of closed while you smile. (That means you, Romney).
• Keep talking. Unlike what the media wants everyone to believe, many of us continue to care about your message. If you continue to talk about what really matters (hint: NOT rev. Wright) we will keep listening.
• Go on Colbert a few more times.
• Secure Edwards’ endorsement, you know he’s been keeping quiet, and you need to close the deal before Hillary does. Bribe and blackmail if you must.
• Fight fire with fire. For god’s sake, somebody needs to dig up some dirt on whatever church McCain belongs to. What are you paying those interns for, anyway?
• Don’t you have Oprah in your corner? Remember that white-women swing vote you’ve heard so much about? Listen, babe, they all watch Oprah, and what’s worse: they actually listen to her. Send Michelle, she’s pretty.

First he’s “too black”, now he’s “elitist”? Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t have believed this a week ago, but it’s true: suddenly, the biggest battle Obama is facing is the notion that he’s too uppity, and out of touch. What about being ahead in the race points towards being out of touch? Obama spoke the truth; Americans are angry. Never since his inauguration has Bush faced a lower approval rating, the economy isn’t just in the toilet, it’s been flushed, and that war keeps dragging on and on. Yet, saying out loud that Americans are bitter about this is a problem?

This is a non-issue; I wish it would go away, but I know better. This one’s going to stick, I’m afraid. Oh, and the new Clinton ad sucks. Honestly, Hillary, you’re disgracing yourself. Stop it.

Maybe we should all act like the anonymous Italian voter, who was so disgusted with his country’s politicians that he literally ate his vote. Of course, he was arrested; still, it’s an original protest, if nothing else.

On a different note, why is the Pope coming? I don’t want to insult any Roman Catholics, but it’s distracting right now. Is he going to bring a message? Does he have something to say we haven’t heard before? Or is he going to kick Bush in the behind for not ending this war? I hope he’s not planning to tell anyone how to vote because that would mean trouble. But why else would the Pope visit during an election year?

Maybe we better keep an eye on him…

What is Hillary doing, is she suddenly running as a Republican? In Indiana today, she was reminiscing about her fond childhood memories, shooting ducks with her father. That’s right, ducks.

What?  Since when does she think this is what the voters want to hear? Republican and Democratic voters alike will know that what she’s doing now is simple pandering; nothing more, nothing less. Saying what she thinks people want to hear is not going to help her win the nomination.

After today’s speech in Valparaiso, I’m not so sure I still want her to win. I want a President who says not what’s popular, but what’s true. A President who isn’t constantly waiting for the opponent to piss of a few people and then quickly says the opposite. This behavior makes her appear needy, self-serving, and, well: she looks like a politician. Not the good kind. Perhaps it’s time to change the campaign slogan to Hillary Clinton: champion of the second amendment?  We should all run for our lives. Hillary, pull your head out of that dark place between your knees and your back, and get with the program, please, ’cause you sound like McCain.

As a nation, we have done our share of complaining about a government that lies. It is one of the biggest reasons that Barack Obama has been successful in gathering support; yet now that he tells the truth, he finds himself in hot water.

I am not convinced that he should be apologizing; it is human nature to get bitter when the economy tanks at such a large scale. It is also human to look for blame elsewhere, and to express that bitterness by focusing on issues that may not actually help the situation, be it immigration, religious causes, or resorting to ‘one-issue-voting’.

Barack speaks the truth, and the truth is unpopular, maybe more unpopular than the lies we have lived with so long. The lies, unfortunately, are familiar; only time will tell whether he will be able to get past this.

It is pathetic that, rather than addressing the issues, both McCain and Hillary attack the person Obama; calling him elitist is outrageous, especially coming from them. The response from both campaigns makes it abundantly clear that they don’t care about Obama’s words; they just care about chopping off his head. Once again, the smell of blood is in the air. Except this time, McCain and Hillary’s responses are eerily similar; and that is perhaps the most uncomfortable aspect of this whole firestorm.

Oh god, this must be the truest sign we are waiting too long in between primaries: Dr. Phil is commenting on the psychology of politics. Juts what we were waiting for.

However, I will be the last person to insinuate that McGraw is a stupid man, and I agree with him that the gloves have not yet come off, in spite of all the talk about the Clinton camp playing nasty. Everybody is still perfectly nice; if you don’t believe me, just wait until the Democrats finally pick a candidate, and the Repu’s know who they’re up against. They’re just waiting in the wings; they’re saving their energy for the real race.

I would, too.

So was McCain’s comment about initially voting against MLK-day as a national holiday a stupid move, or not? If he hadn’t brought it up, would anybody else have? Does anybody care? I think we all know that racial equality is not in his party’s top ten; we’d probably be surprised if it suddenly was.

I imagine there is a secret army of spin-doctors and speechwriters who put down a check mark whenever a candidate says or does something questionable. Once we are down to two candidates, and the massacre really gets under way, what are we going to hear about?

McCain is crazy and unstable; he has a temper and left his first wife to fend for herself. He’s a second Bush; nothing will change. He wants to stay in Iraq for another hundred years. Clinton is a bitch, her husband is a liability, she tells lies; Obama is too young, too inexperienced, we really don’t know him at all. He can’t bowl. He is not patriotic enough. Oh, and his former pastor is crazy.

Is that it, for now? They will have to come up with some better attacks during the coming months, if they want to keep the voters interested. Somebody, somewhere, already has a scandal waiting. Bring it on, I say.