Small Disasters

If there’s one thing my kids are good at, it’s losing stuff. And when that happens, there’s only one solution: go ask mommy. Somewhere along the line, I’ve gotten the reputation of being able to find anything, anywhere, anytime.

This is a blatant lie. I am no better at discovering where Mendel’s toys disappear to, or where Isabella’s favorite skirt is hiding, than the kids themselves. I just have more common sense.

“When did you last have them?” I ask my daughter when she complains about having lost her silver shoes. Her answer is as annoying as it is predictable:
“I don’t know.”
Of course she doesn’t know; why do I even ask?
Impatiently, she hops from one foot to the other. I can see her thinking: hurry up already and tell me what I want to know.
“Did you wear them to school today?”
At this, her eyes glaze over. She knows better than to say ‘I don’t know’ again, so she pretends to think about it.
I, by the way, already know she wore them to school because I saw them at her feet when I picked her up. I decide to end her suffering, and point towards the bathroom.
“The first thing you did when you came home was pee. You always take your shoes off right away, and you always leave them right there. My guess is, they’re in the bathroom.”

I know; it would probably be much better to let her search the whole house. After all, they’re her shoes. Sometimes I do, but sometimes it’s just easier to tell her where things are. The parenting experts (=my mother) have been telling us for years that if you want to be a good parent, consistency is key. Yes is yes, no means no, but honestly, where’s the fun in that? What good is it to always follow the same exact rules, if you can never just break them?

Besides, it keeps them on their toes. Keep them guessing: maybe mommy will help me out; maybe I’m up that you-know-what creek without a paddle. You never know if a little uncertainty may not just cure them of always asking me to solve their mini-disasters.
You know what also works? Hiding their stuff on purpose if they repeatedly refuse to put it away, then feigning ignorance if they tear the house apart searching for Mermaid-Barbie.

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