Hand or ear? Why not the whole head?
This time, Hamas’ poorly designed pink bunny (why do his whiskers meet at the back of his head?) did the unthinkable: he decided to steal money from his daddy. Unfortunately, unlike many other “children”, who at one point or another get away with this, bunny is caught and Muhammad-approved punishment needs to be given. The popular (why?) children’s show’s host then discusses whether he should have his hand chopped off or his ear. Everybody is upset at this latest installment, but I secretly think Hamas releases these tapes just to sit back and watch Americans get pissed off; if we’re all atwitter over the fluffy bunny we might forget about certain other things.
I suggest we go on the offensive instead, and send something back to them: “Barney in Beirut” we’ll call it, and we’ll have the dinosaur corrupt the exact same children Hamas is trying to brainwash. Fight fire with fire.
In other news, a Japanese couple has, over the past ten years, made a whopping $1,620 by selling tritium infused cell phone straps. “They shine for more than ten years!” the advertisement claims. What the ad forgot to mention: the reason for all that shimmer is they’re radio active. Oops. Over 5,500 straps have been sold since 2004, proving once again that, wherever they live, consumers don’t think. As long as it’s pretty, right?
