Fun With Play-Dough

Now that Passover is in full swing, I am slowly coming to the realization that my son Mendel isn’t eating. Sure, if I smear chocolate paste on a matzo, he will lick it off, but that’s not eating, that’s manipulating.

Even foods that he normally likes get the cold shoulder; apparently he is seriously upset that there are no cookies or crackers in the house. For dinner tonight he eats half a dish of applesauce and two bites of chocolate pudding. I don’t even offer him the broccoli; what’s the use? He asks: “Why don’t I get broccoli?”

“Did you want some?” I ask him.

“No.” Then he throws an evil glance at his potatoes, and walks away.

I imagine that eventually he will get hungry, but, as a parent, I know better. Children can go extremely long without eating, especially if they have something to prove. Mendel’s points of protest: “I want cookies” and “Mommy sucks for not giving them to me.”

Our household does rely heavily on food with leavening in it, that much becomes obvious when I look at my fridge; it only has a third of the stuff it normally holds. While I am neurotically happy with such empty shelves, and come up with creative, Passover-friendly meals, my son isn’t having it. He wants his damn bagel and he wants it now. And by the way, where are the crackers? The Oreos? The donuts? And while we’re at it, why are there no cheerios, where is the old stand-by, the peanut butter sandwich?

My daughter Isabella meanwhile is flying through the holidays as if it’s a breeze. She knows what she can and cannot have, and doesn’t ask for forbidden food. She doesn’t complain, and she doesn’t act difficult; why can’t some of it rub off on him?

Of course, it is hard to be three and suddenly be denied your favorite snacks and meals. Besides, all the other holidays are easy; you’re too young to fast, and most holidays add foods instead of taking them away. And why is it that the cruelest of holidays has to be eight days long?

When I look at it like that, I suddenly feel very, very sorry for him. Maybe it’s time to go to the store and buy some of those ridiculously overpriced chocolate-covered matzos after all. If they haven’t been sold out by now to parents of angry Boychiks everywhere.