“Mom, what’s a crane?” My daughter Isabella asks, and I go into a long explanation about what a crane looks like, how tall it is, and what you can do with it. I’m sure she’s seen them around town, and expect her to say, “Oh, yeah, I know.”
Instead, she waits until I make it all the way through my lengthy explanation, and then says: “No, the animal.”
Oh. “It’s a bird.”
My son Mendel looks up and asks: “A butt?” and they both giggle. Wonderful; we’ve entered the “dirty word stage”. This stage includes both actually ‘dirty’ words and strange, made-up words that only sound naughty. In addition to that, there are the fart noises to content with. Mendel’s naughty vocabulary includesbutt, poop, and ewww, gross; not very impressive, I know, but I have the feeling that’s about to change.
I hate to admit it, but yesterday we heard Isabella exclaim a loud and well-meant Bad word. Bad words are different from naughty words; they are words that you really can’t repeat in polite company, words that are used by adults, and overheard by children. Especially in traffic. My husband and I both have our personal favorites, and the one we heard my daughter use was definitely one of mine. No, it doesn’t start with an F. I have my limits.
Before you think I go around cussing like a sailor, you can talk to a child for four hours straight, use one nasty word, and that’s what they’ll remember. In my defense, I think I’m hardly the only parent that’s guilty of not watching my tongue 100% of the time.
I also agree with my own dad that certain strong language can be very effective in expressing things from time to time; it was invented for a reason. Still, this particular word should not come out of my daughter’s mouth for another ten years or so. Of course, I also have nightmares about her going to school and teaching it to all her friends- I can already hear the teacher’s voice in my head explaining why Isabella was sent to the office three times today, and how she just wouldn’t stop saying $&%# over and over and over.
Needless to say, we addressed this issue with her; for about thirty seconds. I think both of us felt that the longer we emphasized how bad this word was, the more likely she would be to use it again. We told her that there is certain language she is not allowed to use until she’s older. It’s kind of like driving a car, and dating. Yes, we reverted to the old parenting stand-by: when you don’t know what to do, save it for later; put the problem on ice, and at least you don’t have to worry about it today.
Ten years from now, we’ll end up with a cussing, dating daughter with a driver’s license. I can hardly wait.
2 responses so far ↓
bejewell // April 23, 2008 at 11:52 am
16 should be fun. But don’t beat yourself up about it! We implemented the “Swear Jar” (a buck a swear, that’s the rule) two weeks ago and it’s already 40 large. I shudder to think what my one-year old’s first true word will be.
dolanmama // April 23, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Thanks for the visit to my blog–I’ll be on the lookout for some Rashi next year when the cat will expect another Seder. As for the potty mouth, I have to admit that my boys are SO MUCH worse than the girls. My quads are almost 12 and had the big Sex Ed class this year in school. The boys love to repeat “pe*nis” randomly in dinner table conversation just to see the girls cringe and plug their ears. They aren’t allowed to cuss, however. They think “crap” is a big thing to get to say only at home. I told them if their teachers heard them use that word, they’d think my kids were punks.
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