Fun with Politics (63)

With so many Americans worried about their job security, it’s time to take a closer look at what will soon be the nation’s most famous unemployed man: the President.

We’ve spent plenty of time discussing the bad aspects of his presidency; maybe we should pay some attention to those things we’ll actually miss. Wait, no, there are some; trust me.

 

This President, even though he is very unpopular abroad, has friends. They are spread out all over the government, telling him how great he is, and doing his bidding. Imagine having a President who is loved overseas, but has no one near him to hang out with on a Friday night. Wouldn’t that be sad?

He is relaxed; even when faced with an economy on life support, he never worries. Thus, neither should we. After all, he is the daddy, and we are his children; it’s a nice feeling to have a president who tells you ‘everything is going to be fine’. Like ostriches, we can stick our heads in the sand, where we can comfortably suffocate. Relax. Have another beer. Don’t worry, be happy, and all that.

He’s a little dumb; and he makes up words when he has trouble expressing himself. Watching him makes us all feel so much smarter. Electing someone to the White House who actually knows what she is doing will kick our collective self-esteem to the curb; I’m sad already.

He never wakes up at three in the morning; why should he? He’s got friends for that.

He likes a good BBQ. It doesn’t get more patriotic than that!

 

Of course, one burning question remains…what will he do next? Dare we hope for the first ex-president to show up on the Surreal Life?