Fun With Play-Dough

With so many Americans worried about their job security, it’s time to take a closer look at what will soon be the nation’s most famous unemployed man: the President.

We’ve spent plenty of time discussing the bad aspects of his presidency; maybe we should pay some attention to those things we’ll actually miss. Wait, no, there are some; trust me.

This President, even though he is very unpopular abroad, has friends. They are spread out all over the government, telling him how great he is, and doing his bidding. Imagine having a President who is loved overseas, but has no one near him to hang out with on a Friday night. Wouldn’t that be sad?

He is relaxed; even when faced with an economy on life support, he never worries. Thus, neither should we. After all, he is the daddy, and we are his children; it’s a nice feeling to have a president who tells you ‘everything is going to be fine’. Like ostriches, we can stick our heads in the sand, where we can comfortably suffocate. Relax. Have another beer. Don’t worry, be happy, and all that.

He’s a little dumb; and he makes up words when he has trouble expressing himself. Watching him makes us all feel so much smarter. Electing someone to the White House who actually knows what she is doing will kick our collective self-esteem to the curb; I’m sad already.

He never wakes up at three in the morning; why should he? He’s got friends for that.

He likes a good BBQ. It doesn’t get more patriotic than that!

Of course, one burning question remains…what will he do next? Dare we hope for the first ex-president to show up on the Surreal Life?

It is imperative that the economy gets a positive injection; now. Just watch Lou Dobbs and his incessant bitching about immigrants (yes, I take it personally) and remember how dissatisfaction with the economy led the Germans straight into the welcoming arms of Nazism. When the economy is on its ass, the foreigners get blamed; that’s how it’s always been, and that is what is happening now. It couldn’t be anybody else’s fault, could it?

Somebody needs to remind Bush that a $600 to $1200 check isn’t going to help those that are really in trouble, and tell him to come up with some better ideas. After all, it’s a few more months until that man is actually out of office; how much more damage can he do in the remaining months?

First of all, fire Cheney and give his job to somebody deserving. Then start pulling those troops out of Iraq, and use the money for something useful. I know, it’s a tired old argument, but seriously. War is expensive! Freaking expensive! Is anybody in Washington getting that? And don’t tell me this is an ideological War; we’re in it for the oil and nothing else. Imagine how much oil we could buy if we didn’t use all that money to beat the crap out of a country. And as far as Al Quayda following us home, well, if they didn’t have a good enough reason to do so before, they certainly do now.

Maybe if American tax money can be used for its intended recipients (i.e. Americans health care! Education! Social Security!) we can -as a society- stop being so scared of a few immigrant workers. It’s not as if anybody else is chomping at the bit to pick those oranges or process those cows. Don’t lie.