Really Bad Television: Your Mama Don’t Dance

Anybody remember Ian Ziering? 

Anyone?

 

That’s right! It’s that super-bloody-annoying blond guy from 90210!!!

I happened to spot him as the presenter of ‘Your Mama Don’t Dance’, a disastrous new show on the Life Time channel. I found out about it by watching the Soup, and since I’m always looking for the next train wreck, I had to check it out. I wasn’t disappointed; it’s positively horrifying. I like being up to date on these things; I find complaining about ‘the worst shows ever’ such a hit at dinner parties.

 

Speaking of your career being in the crapper.

 

The premise is: daughters dance with their dads; moms get jiggy with their sons. That’s right, it’s got that all-important creep-appeal. This week, apparently the theme is disco, and we see daughters with fathers, dressed in leopard print and gold-lamé, and the dance lasts all of one minute -which, in all honesty, is long enough.  The jury is made up of not-quite–famous people, of which there are many; you look at them and think, didn’t I see him in an E.D. commercial? But you’re not sure.

A lady dressed in violet sequins has the gall to tell father and daughter they need to be more hip, and…oh my god, did that guy just glance at his daughter’s boobs?

 

And I thought I’d seen it all. Remember Dog, the Bounty Hunter? Remember Flavor of Love? This is worse. Much, much worse.

 

Everybody should watch this. I dare you to make it through a whole episode; I managed about 12 minutes.