Fun With Play-Dough

Anybody remember Ian Ziering? 

Anyone?

That’s right! It’s that super-bloody-annoying blond guy from 90210!!!

I happened to spot him as the presenter of ‘Your Mama Don’t Dance’, a disastrous new show on the Life Time channel. I found out about it by watching the Soup, and since I’m always looking for the next train wreck, I had to check it out. I wasn’t disappointed; it’s positively horrifying. I like being up to date on these things; I find complaining about ‘the worst shows ever’ such a hit at dinner parties.

Speaking of your career being in the crapper.

The premise is: daughters dance with their dads; moms get jiggy with their sons. That’s right, it’s got that all-important creep-appeal. This week, apparently the theme is disco, and we see daughters with fathers, dressed in leopard print and gold-lamé, and the dance lasts all of one minute -which, in all honesty, is long enough.  The jury is made up of not-quite–famous people, of which there are many; you look at them and think, didn’t I see him in an E.D. commercial? But you’re not sure.

A lady dressed in violet sequins has the gall to tell father and daughter they need to be more hip, and…oh my god, did that guy just glance at his daughter’s boobs?

And I thought I’d seen it all. Remember Dog, the Bounty Hunter? Remember Flavor of Love? This is worse. Much, much worse.

Everybody should watch this. I dare you to make it through a whole episode; I managed about 12 minutes.

Nancy Pelosi keeps mentioning that the ‘Dream ticket’ isn’t going to happen. Maybe; maybe not.  I personally think it’s a little mean that she keeps dashing our hopes; she’s a Democratic Party-pooper, if you’ll forgive the pun.

What does she know that we don’t? Is she basing her comments on some secret that she’s not willing to share, or is she just guessing? Frankly, I find her a little condescending lately, and that’s a pity: the day that we welcomed the first female Speaker was an exciting one. Now I’m just irritated whenever I see her face. There’s something she’s keeping from us, and she needs to either share, or give it a rest.

Maybe she’s had a catfight with Hillary and doesn’t want her in the White House. Maybe she has some dirt on Obama, and is conniving behind his back; maybe she’s secretly hoping McCain will win the election. Now that would be a shock to the system. The Democratic Party is so used to bitching about the Republicans; the thought of the Dems actually having the Presidency might scare her.

I haven’t given up hope that we could have it all. Who says we can’t be like a rich debutante that can’t decide between this or that purse, and decides, what the hell, I’ll get them both. I can afford it!

Honors for the most laughable quote of the week go to traveling McCain: he says his trip “is not primarily political”.  He must be talking about a different kind of trip, because if he thinks that anybody is going to buy that for one second he’s seriously underestimating the American public.