Fun With Play-Dough

Obama isn’t playing ball; he should be on board the dream-team train. There is nothing premature about the discussion of a Hillary/ Obama ticket, as some advisors have suggested; it is simply what the vast majority of Democrats want.  Period.

Obama, I know you need a big ego to run for President in the first place. You also need to be a little crazy. But now is the time to put that big ego aside, and use your head. Aren’t you trying to do what the American people want? Well, then you should at least give us a glimmer of hope, and not completely rule this out.  I’m not asking that you sign anything with your own blood, just that you leave the door open a little bit. Trust me, with bitches like Steve King out there, thinking they can get away with all kinds of racist dribble, you need a strong partner, and Hillary’s just the candidate for that.

Journalists need to stop mentioning how Spitzer was so squeaky clean up until this morning. No. I refuse to believe that; he just hadn’t gotten caught yet. And what is this nonsense about apologizing without saying what he’s apologizing for? Even my three-year-old knows better than that. If you’re sorry, tell us exactly what you did so we know there’s at least a smallish chance you’ll learn to not do it again.

Oh, how we love scandal; it’s like reality Television, except with smarter people. Sort of.

Great job, Spitzer, you asshole! Why did you run for office in the first place, if you have this kind of crap in your background? What did you think; if the people are stupid enough to vote Bush into office twice, they won’t find out about me? It’s official; you are the idiot of the day.

Now we are waiting for the press conference, which will no doubt show us a man who is ‘deeply sorry, most of all to his family, but also to the people of New York, bla bla, bla.’

I guess his wife will be besides him, although I kind of hope she won’t be. I hope she will tell him to go screw himself and talk to her lawyer.

Sometimes I wonder; is this for real, or is there a secret conspiracy, where politicians draw straws, and the loser gets to confess something really baaaad.

Then, we can all ooh and aah, and feel better about ourselves; look, we say, we may be unable to pay for our sub prime mortgages, we’ve fed our children McDeath five times a week, and we never help them with their homework, but at least we’re not like that loser.

Maybe this is something that automatically kicks in when everybody is worried about the economy, so we can take a break and congratulate ourselves? Ask yourselves, why is it always the extra moral types who fall so hard? And why, after the initial scandal breaks, do we never hear any follow up? Where’s Haggart? Where’s Monica? Well?

What’s next? Barbara Bush is actually a man? Huckabee is addicted to Meth?

Play True or False with politics

Bored with these endless primaries? Wishing it was over? Me too. Let’s play a game instead; guess which of the following statements are true, and which belong in the gutter.

1. At a 2001 White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Bush commented: “I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama Bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.”
2. Andrew Jackson was illiterate until the age of 17.
3. Abraham Lincoln stored important documents inside his hat.
4. Condoleeza Rice is extremely allergic to certain kinds of rubber.
5. In 2004, Bush told a group of Amish “God speaks through me, otherwise I don’t think I could do this job.”
6. Cheney reportedly likes to listen to the Doors while he’s driving.
7. Grover Cleveland proposed to his wife Frances by mail; she turned him down three times before she finally said yes.
8. In May of 2006, the Press Secretary Tony Snow was approached by Hanes to shoot an underwear commercial; he respectfully declined.
9. Bush’s reaction to winning his first Presidential election was to say: “They misunderestimated me.”
10. John McCain belongs to a very small percentage of the Caucasian population that is naturally immune to Chicken Pox, due to a minor genetic mutation.
11. Inhabitants of Kentucky are required by law to bathe at least once a year.
12. Before Bush jr. announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination, his mother Barbara tried to talk him out of it.
13. On average, Republican Presidents change their ties less often than Democratic ones.
14. Only four Presidents in the history of the U.S. have been known to be proficient at riding a bicycle: Polk, Jackson, Kennedy, and Carter.