Fun With Play-Dough

Recently, the Spam is out of control.  I wish the government would do something about that.  They offer me a bigger penis on a daily basis (I am a woman, so this would involve much more than a few pills, believe me) and apparently, drugs like Viagra and Cialis should now come from Germany. Ficken wie ein Weltmeister? My inbox asks me; I sort of want to yell back, Nein! and I hit the delete button, again. And again. And -you guessed it- again.

This week, I won the lottery nine times, in London, Spain, and Italy; then there was that vague email from Hong Kong that promised me millions of dollars in bad English.  I also received a letter from somebody pretending to be a banker, letting me know that some vague relative had died in a car wreck and left me fifty million Pounds.

Well. If only.

Still, that’s what the trash bucket is for, and I use it freely.

Most annoying are the ones that try to hook me up.  First of all, I’m married with two kids, so I don’t have time for a boyfriend. I barely have time to sleep. Then, their market research is poor at best; it all started with the Christian Singles-ads, and I’m Jewish. If I were single and dumb enough to look for love at a spam-site, it wouldn’t be there. Then, they changed: suddenly I started receiving ads that promised me Hot Asian Singles! In My Neighborhood!  When I didn’t respond to those either, they tried Black and Hispanic. 

The Jewish and white and mixed-race dating sites must be slacking. Not to speak of the Native Americans, the Kazakhstani, the Russians, and the Muslim sites.  Come on, guys, join the party!

Has anybody ever noticed that the E-harmony commercials never show interracial dating? You see a black couple, a white couple, maybe an Asian couple…but you never see s Black woman laying a nice sloppy kiss on a Chinese man.  E-harmony, indeed.