Fun with Politics (18)

I cannot tell you how relieved I am after hearing our warm and loving president speak to the press corps today. I tell you, that news conference came just in time. Bushy told us that we’re not headed for a recession after all, “it’s just a slow-down.”

 

Well, that’s just wonderful news. 

 

Here I was, all worried; now it appears that everything is going to be just fine. Isn’t it great, George, to be president, and be able to make your own reality? And such imagination you have; I’m feeling positively giddy. I Love Fairy Tales! Can someone put that on a bumper sticker?

 

Also, we should all get anywhere between $300 and $1200, or maybe $1800 or $600, or…well, whatever, as long as it’s divisible by the number 300. What shall we spend it on?

I am going to take my check to Barnes and Nobles and buy books for my kids; as many as I can carry, so they don’t grow up stupid.

 

My favorite George-quote:

“It seems that no matter what happens in Iraq, opponents of the war have one answer: retreat.”

Well, yeah, we’re annoying that way. But George, we wouldn’t have to repeat ourselves so often if you would just listen.

 

Wait, I have a fantastic idea. Since you and your buddies have done such a capital job here in the motherland, why don’t you all volunteer to move to Iraq and run the government over there? I hear there’s a need; that way you don’t have to give up the crown, and you can bring the whole gang, even the ones that have publicly resigned or quietly disappeared. You can take Tony Snow, too.  And I hear there are fewer rules over there, so nobody has to worry about the whole wiretapping-thing.

 

Deal?

 

 

 

One last thing, stay informed. Read up on PEPFAR; the wikipedia entry is actually quite good and it has some decent links.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepfar

 

 

 

Fun with Pregnancy: When Everything Hurts

At some point during pregnancy, every body part hurts; even your hair. Often, many parts hurt at the same time.  Of the approximately five million reasons for this, I’ve highlighted a few:

 

 

• It prepares you for the time your baby turns into a teenager. They will talk back, refuse to follow instructions, do everything in their power to rebel, and yell at you when you so much as interfere with their choice of jelly.  It doesn’t matter; by then you will be completely numb inside because you will still remember how much you suffered during those nine months.  Compared to an episiotomy, dealing with teen angst is like going to the circus. A boring circus.
• The pain will serve as a constant reminder to keep the father on a shorter leash; after all, he is the one that caused this mess.  Why should he have to go to the bar more than once a month? Why does he need to buy anything for himself? What do you mean, golf? Who needs golf? Why should you do stuff around the house, when he is perfectly healthy?  And if this is not your first baby, why can’t he take care of the other kids while you swoon on the sofa?
• Some people think pain is there to prepare you for labor; this is incorrect. Nothing prepares you for labor.  Only having been in labor before might give you some answers, and even then. The list of labor signs that every pregnancy book seems to include is always notoriously vague, and they -without exception- add a disclaimer that it’s different for every woman. Big fat help, that.
• Compared to pregnancy aches, your monthly cycle will almost seem like fun. Once it goes back to normal, that is.
• If you have one of those aggressive boy babies, the kind that start beating the crap out of you by the time they are 3, you can work on increasing your tolerance for pain now.
• It prepares you for some serious hurting at the gym, which is necessary for getting your old body back. Don’t think you can fix it by breastfeeding alone.

 

Bitter? What on earth are you talking about? I’m not bitter.

 

 

 

 

Fun with Politics (17)

It was mentioned on the news this morning that people in North Korea can be sent to Labor Camps for watching Western Media.  It’s amazing how we know about countries where freedom is a fluid concept at best, but it’s those details that drive it home.

 

 

I’ve been thinking about Dictators. How is it that one man can exert such influence, I wonder; how does it get to that point? Is it simply a matter of surrounding yourself with enough puppets, and paying them so much that they have no choice but to support you?

Does it start with earnest ideology? Somehow I think not; although ideology is a great thing to hide behind, I don’t think anybody still thinks that Hitler really believed he was going to improve conditions in Germany. Conditions for himself, yes, but not for “his” people.

 

Like many Europeans who came of age before or during the eighties, I vividly remember the images of Romania’s Nicolae Ceausescu’s limp body on the evening news. It made an impression on me, seeing this once mighty man not just dead, but disgraced, abandoned on the street like a piece of trash. His picture can still be accessed on line, as if to instill in people that he is really, truly gone.

 

http://www.ceausescu.org/ceausescu_pictures/nicolae_si_elena/source/276.html

 

All too often, dictators leave behind a country decimated, hurt beyond recognition, poor beyond belief. Nearly twenty years later, Romania is still in shambles; the former DDR isn’t fairing that much better. It makes me wonder what will happen to Cuba once the Castro regime finally comes to and end.  It also doesn’t bode well for Iraq; what will that country look like twenty years from now?

 

I guess it makes me grateful that we can discuss politics in this country; sometimes we get so distracted by our differences that we forget how liberated we are, being able to have our little catfights and worrying about mailers and pant suits and African dresses and such.

 

I’m a little contemplative today; so I’m going to end on a lighter note: This morning, a snippet of Bill Cunningham was on the news. My six-year-old saw him; started laughing, and yelled “McCain threw me under the bus!” It was the most spot-on imitation I have heard in months.