Fun With Play-Dough

Partners, pay attention: here is another list of things no one should ever ask of a pregnant woman:

• Give back the remote
• Shop for groceries
• Work
• Scrub the toilet
• Remind you to get her flowers
• Remind you to give her compliments
• Remind you to give her anything
• Be wrong about anything
• Make the bed
• Vacuum
• Complete a sentence
• Defend herself for the strange food combinations she is craving.
• Share the ice cream
• Compromise
• Watch Pro’s versus Joe’s
• Gas up the car
• Remember doctor’s appointments
• Practice those stupid exercises they taught her in pregnancy class
• Walk the dog
• Be nice to you
• Wait in line, anywhere, anytime
• Let you pick the rental video
• Be put on hold
• Ask for a back rub; they should be automatic, damn it!
• Put the crib together
• Paint the nursery
• Suffer through an argument about whether the expensive giraffe border will look better in the baby room
• Cook you dinner
• Put up with your friends
• Put up with you when she wants to be alone
• Be alone when she wants you around
• Answer the question: “How are you feeling today?”
• Carry anything heavier than a ping-pong ball
• Put down that Snickers bar
• Put down that bag of chips
• Put down that box of cookies
• Be reminded that she’s pregnant; believe me, she knows.
• Wash the windows
• Take that nasty clump of hair out of the sink
• Pick up anything she’s dropped
• Be told “no”
• Apologize for crying during the commercials